


The In-Thing

by SweetSorcery



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Cardassians, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Groping, Humor, Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, M/M, Male Slash, Matchmaking, Mistaken Identity, Mutual Pining, Romance, Sex Toys, Slash, Subterfuge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 21:15:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16048697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetSorcery/pseuds/SweetSorcery
Summary: A lovesick Dr Bashir enlists Quark's aid to purchase a certain very "in" item from Risa. But there are problems with the delivery.





	The In-Thing

**Author's Note:**

> This story is ancient and should have been archived here ages ago. :)

With a knowing smirk, Quark put through his communication to the infirmary. As soon as Julian Bashir's face appeared on the small view-screen behind Quark's bar, the Ferengi's grin widened. 

"What is it, Quark?" Julian asked, looking a little flustered. "I'm having a very busy day."

Quark looked around conspiratorially, then leaned closer to the viewer until his face filled the infirmary screen entirely, causing Julian to take a step back. "Doctor, your... order has arrived."

Instantly, Julian's face lit up. "Faster than I expected! Make sure you hide it until I come and see you. My shift is due to finish in a little over two hours." 

"Certainly, Doctor. I'll have it waiting for you behind the bar, in my lock-up." 

"Good." Julian looked around a little nervously. Bad enough he was doing business with Quark. The last thing he needed was for anyone to find out just what it was the Ferengi had procured for him. "I'll see you later, Quark."

"Doctor." Quark shut off the transmission and turned around. The place was fairly empty this early in the afternoon, so he reached below the bar to pick up the package addressed to himself, but intended for the good Doctor Bashir. He turned it and tested its weight - it was very light, but then that was to be expected. The only writing on the discreetly unremarkable gray box besides the address were the words _Made on Risa_. 

Grinning, Quark considered once more the implication of this little... purchase Doctor Bashir had made through him. When Bashir had first come to him with his request, he'd told him that there was a certain _toy_ he desired, but wasn't sure whether such a thing was even available, or where he might find it. The station's replicators were of no assistance at all. 

Quark had made a big deal out of it, claiming its rarity and the difficulty in obtaining it. As expected, the doctor had offered a handsome finder's fee. Never mind that the item in question was in fact the current top seller in Risan gift-shops and quite easy to find. Quark chuckled. Humans... so gullible.

* * *

Barely two hours later, Julian rushed to Quark's to pick up his purchase. "Where is it?" he asked breathlessly. 

The Ferengi looked around and dramatically pulled the box from the small safe below the bar. "Right here, Doctor. Just as ordered." 

When Julian flushed and quickly shoved it between himself and the bar, the Ferengi added, with a twinkle in his eyes, "You know there are different attachments available."

"Really?" Julian asked, a little too eagerly. 

"Quite a number of them. Just come and see me, if there's anything else I can get you." 

Julian nodded, turning to leave. Quickly.

"Nice doing business with you, Doctor," Quark called after him.

Julian shot around and reached across the bar, grabbing the Ferengi by one ear. 

Quark howled in pain, his eyes watering up. 

"Don't _ever_ breathe a word about this to anyone, Quark! Is that clear?" 

Quark gulped at the unusually murderous look in the human's eyes. "Clear as Romulan Ale." When the grip on his ear tightened further, he yelped, "Sorry, sorry! Clear as... as... synth vodka." 

"Good." Julian released the glowing red appendage and left hurriedly. 

* * *

_... We hope you'll have many hours of fun with your new purchase. And don't forget this month's specials on the 'Glinn Within' vibrating staff, the 'Suit of Amour' dress-up kit and the 'Cardie-on-Tap' multi-flavour insert..._

Julian Bashir stood in the center of his room, putting down the audio information pad from the package and picking up the actual item. He was completely alone, yet he was scarlet right to the tips of his toes and the roots of his hair. If Quark ever decided to squeal... The Ferengi had him by the balls. 

* * *

When his door-chime rang half an hour later, Julian choked out a breathless, "Just a moment!" 

Chief O'Brien frowned, wondering what his friend was up to inside. "You okay, Julian?" he boomed. 

"Yes, Miles... I'm just... give me a moment!" 

Bloody hell! Talk about bad timing. Miles O'Brien considered leaving quietly but, at that moment, the door opened, and behind it stood a slightly out of breath and dishevelled Julian. 

"I'm not interrupting a hot date, am I?" Miles asked uncomfortably, unable to resist a quick peek past Julian's shoulder. The only thing out of the ordinary he could see was a torn open box and some bubble wrap lying discarded on the floor.

"No. No, of course not!" Julian grinned nervously. "What's up? I mean... what can I do for you, Miles?" 

"Can I come in?" 

Julian bit his bottom lip. "All right." He stepped aside a little reluctantly, looking at Miles in confusion. Why on Earth was the chief here?

Miles didn't miss the questioning look. "We were supposed to be in the holosuites half an hour ago, remember? The Alamo?" 

Julian groaned. "Oh dear. I forgot to cancel, Miles. There's something else I have to... take care of tonight, I'm afraid." 

Miles smirked. "Don't you mean _someone_ else?" 

Julian couldn't look the chief in the eye. Instead, his gaze kept darting back towards his bed. 

"I'll be going then, Julian. She can stop pretending to be asleep."

"She?" Julian asked in confusion. When he followed Miles' line of sight, he realised the silky black hair of his new purchase was showing above the hastily pulled up blanket. "Oh!" he croaked. 

Miles chuckled and went to the door. "Tomorrow evening then?"

"Yes, okay." Julian croaked. "I'll see you then." 

"Right." 

Once outside, Miles O'Brien found himself wondering why Julian was so unusually coy about this conquest. The Julian of old would have told him all about it, gloating. Was it someone he knew? Miles mentally went through a list of everyone on the station with black, silky hair like that. It didn't take him long. " _Garak_!?"

* * *

"What can I do for you, Doctor?" Quark grinned. Julian had entered the bar just after closing, and he looked every bit as nervous as he had done last time he wanted some private dealings. The Ferengi was already mentally counting the latinum. 

Julian cleared his throat. "About those extras we were talking about..." 

"Let me guess." Quark flashed a toothy grin. "The _Glinn Within_?"

"No!" Julian blushed, leaning closer to whisper, "I need another order just like the last." Ignoring Quark's awed look, he added, "And I want one of those flavour inserts, too." 

Quark's jaw dropped. "You've already worn out the _Gul's Delight_?" When he received a lethal look, he added, "I didn't even know about the flavour insert. What are the flavours?" he asked, with honest curiosity.

Julian looked around. Then he whispered, "Vanilla, uttaberry, chocolate and Kanar. But I think one can use anything to refill the compartments." 

"Is that right?" Quark beamed. "Well, I do have a couple of other one-off orders for Risan products so, if we combine it, I would say that three bars of gold-pressed latinum should cover handling and shipping. Plus, of course, the actual price of the product." 

Julian nodded his agreement, pulling out the latinum. 

"And don't forget my usual finder's fee, Doctor." Quark held out his little hand, receiving a rather generous payment. "Consider it on the way, Doctor Bashir," he whispered. "Now, what can I get you to drink?"

* * *

Within a week, the Risan shipment arrived. Quark went through the boxes in his quarters - the toy for the doctor, Morn's order of Risan porn, Captain Sisko's silk sheets, Kira's silk negligée, the chief's holo lenses (which apparently made one's actual sex partner look like the partner of one's choice) and Garak's Risan flax. All of those things were nicely packaged in separate boxes, as requested, with nothing but pre-arranged numbers on the outsides of the cartons. It wouldn't do to mix anything up. Unless...

Quark grinned deviously. He knew he'd lose some of his regular commissions this way, but even the best Ferengi had to put kindness before profit once in a while. Besides, Doctor Bashir's fondness for Cardassian sex toys was beginning to turn into an outright addiction.

Setting his plan in motion, Quark contacted his customers, one by one. When he got to Doctor Bashir, he told him that Rom would bring the box to his quarters later. He then told Garak the very same thing, before contacting Rom to send him on his errands. That way, if anything _should_ go wrong unexpectedly, he could always blame his idiot brother for it.

* * *

Garak opened the unusually nondescript box, bemoaning the fact that even on Risa, profit was now being put before design. However, he changed his mind, once he'd removed the packing material and got to the actual product inside. "Oh, dear me!" he exclaimed, pulling the latest model _Gul's Delight_ \- complete with puncture protection, separate air chambers, and its own air pump - from the box. He held up the limp rubber figure between his fingertips. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted one of Odo's deputies staring into his shop through the window, and he waved to the blushing Bajoran and quickly dropped the rubber into the box. 

"And what's this?" Garak said to himself, drawing a small pouch out from underneath the doll. "Flavour inserts?" He chuckled. One thing was clear to the tailor. This was not what he'd ordered and, most likely, the person who, right about now, was wondering why they'd been sent Risan flax, was the very person who'd come to his shop eventually to swap boxes. He smiled broadly. This should be very interesting indeed.

* * *

Julian Bashir stood in his quarters, turning a range of shades of white, gray and ash, his fingers clutching the end of a vast length of Risan flax. His first instinct was to kill Rom. Then, he considered killing Quark. After that, perhaps himself. At last, he decided to be sensible and make one or the other of them go and swap his box for, presumably, Garak's. But what if they were to tell Garak? He wouldn't put it past either of them to lightly tell the tailor they'd come to swap Doctor Bashir's order. 

Maybe Garak hadn't opened the box yet? Yes, that was a distinct possibility. For a moment, Julian felt his circulation return to him. But only for a moment. How was he to exchange the boxes without Garak noticing it? Then he had an idea. He tapped his communicator. "Bashir to Garak." 

The tailor walked across his shop to his comm-unit. "My dear Doctor, what a pleasant surprise!" 

"Hello, Garak," Julian said nervously. "I was wondering..."

"Yes?"

"Would you like to meet me at Quark's for a game of darts and a drink?"

"Darts?" Garak exclaimed in honest surprise.

"Why not? I promised I'd teach you at some point. Today is as good a day as any."

Garak weighed up his options. "I'd be happy to, Doctor Bashir. I'll pick you up at your quarters in five minutes." 

Julian fidgeted. He'd planned to lure the Cardassian to Quark's, sneak into his shop to swap the boxes, and then meet him in the bar. This was defeating his purpose, but what else could he do without making his friend suspicious? "Yes, all right, Garak. I'll see you soon."

"Splendid, Doctor." Garak smiled broadly at the view-screen and shut off his comm-unit. Was it possible? Doctor Bashir? If so, there were most exciting implications in all this.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Julian entered his quarters. Despite his nervousness and the distinct impression that Garak _knew_ something - hopefully, that was just own paranoia, he'd had a wonderful evening. Even if it was becoming harder and harder to keep from revealing his little _secret_. There were times, looking at Garak's knowing expression, that the young doctor had wondered whether this secret was indeed still a secret at all.

But that was a concern for another day. Right now, he would need to work out a way to swap those boxes. He nursed a vain hope that Garak hadn't opened his own yet. Perhaps he could do it during the night, while Garak was asleep?

An hour later, Julian Bashir - dressed entirely in black and armed with a miniature flashlight - was sneaking towards Garak's shop, cursing the day Quark had been born. That damn Ferengi was turning him into a criminal! As soon as the Promenade was empty - except for two security officers rounding the far corner and making their way to the habitat ring - Julian sneaked up to the door of Garak's shop. 

"Computer, open this door. Manual over-ride Bashir 371 Alpha."

With a beep, the door slid open, and Julian hurried around the door frame, nearly knocking over a large upright roll of fabric beside the entrance. Waiting until the door closed behind him again, he snapped on his flashlight and got to work. 

Scurrying around the room, searching every box he could find in the shop, Julian eventually sank to his knees in frustration. Where was that damn box?

And right then, the door to the changing room at the back of the shop slid open and, back-lit from the room behind, Garak stood in the doorway, his arms slung around the shoulders of another man. "Looking for this, doctor?"

Julian gaped, at least until Garak ordered the computer to turn on the main light, affording him a good look at the Cardassian's companion. Then, Julian dropped his head in his hands and groaned. 

To Garak's credit, he didn't laugh, but his grin nearly split his face. "You know, Doctor Bashir," he started, lifting the doll and depositing it atop the very table before which Julian was crouched. "There is only one thing about this that disturbs me." 

Julian peeked up at the Cardassian through his hands, which still covered the better part of his flushed face. "Only one?" he moaned weakly. 

Garak nodded solemnly, assessing the rubber Cardassian on his cutting table with a frown. "He looks terribly like Glinn Damar. I had no idea you had this sort of _interest_ in Dukat's... um, right-hand man." 

Julian finally got to his feet, carefully avoiding Garak's eyes. "I don't." He warily assessed the fully inflated doll. "He doesn't really look like Damar." 

"Certainly he does. That vaguely displeased scowl... that look of contempt... the cold blue eyes... the pouting lips, the... um... stature..." Garak traced the figure's strong thighs and narrow hips carefully. 

"I suppose." There really was no doubt, Julian realised, that this doll looked a lot like Damar. More so than the first one he'd... had.

"Oh well, the fads of the day, I suppose." Garak dismissed the whole thing. "But, tell me, Doctor..."

"Yes?" Julian said weakly.

"If it was not Glinn Damar you saw in this, who then?"

Clenching his teeth, Julian finally looked at Garak. Longingly, he realised too late.

"Oh, my dear Doctor!" 

"I can explain." 

"Please do, but first, there's something I have to do." Garak lifted his hand and, the moment Julian realised the tailor was holding a sewing needle, it was already too late. With one prick, the _Gul's Delight_ turned into a shriveling piece of rubber to the sound of a mournful wail. 

"Garak!" Julian wailed. 

"You won't be needing him anymore, Doctor." Garak smiled and, finally, Julian began to catch on. But the tailor had left him standing where he was and had gone to open one of the closets. "And speaking of things we no longer have any use for..."

Julian clutched the edge of the cutting table and stared blankly at the doll Garak was carrying over to the cutting table and depositing atop his own. Then, another prick later, this one too proved beyond a doubt that Risan puncture protection was not all it was cracked up to be. 

For a brief instant prior to its complete destruction however, Julian was able to clearly make out the face of the Federation uniform-clad doll. "That's me!" he squeaked. 

"Not a bad likeness of you, I agree." Garak smiled broadly. "You see, we Cardassians are susceptible to fads too." 

"But... but..." 

Garak chatted away lightly. If he was embarrassed, it didn't show in any way. "I'm afraid that once I started keeping it here, I found it necessary to leave the shop closed for a little while after our lunches together." 

Julian flushed a deep shade of red.

"That box down there, Doctor," Garak said, pointing to the floor. "I believe that's my flax?" 

Julian nodded, still unable to tear his eyes away from the heap of intertwined rubber on the table. 

Garak bent down and picked up the flax, heaving it onto one of the nearby shelves. When he walked back to Julian, he made a detour past the back room, where he softly instructed the computer to lower the light level to 30%.

Julian found himself standing in the dimly lit room, with the soft glow from Garak's room out back adding a little additional illumination. He realised that, thus far, they'd virtually been standing on display to the security guards, who were due to return at any moment. 

"So, Doctor..." Garak's mellow voice breathed against the side of Julian's neck, while his hands clasped the human's shoulders from behind. "You were going to explain something to me."

Julian closed his eyes, when he felt the first touch of the cool lips against his neck. When they moved up to tug at his earlobe, he whimpered softly, his head falling back against Garak's broad neck while his hair brushed the already tingling neck ridges, causing Garak to gasp. 

"I think that might be unnecessary now," Julian gasped breathlessly. 

The gray hands on his shoulders moved to meet at his collar and began to unbutton the black tunic, until his bare skin was exposed to the warm air in the room. It was so infinitely arousing to feel and see the Cardassian's hands on his skin - the contrast in hue and tone, the coolness of the touch even while it heated Julian's skin like a glowing iron. 

"You're so very beautiful," Garak murmured tenderly, his lips now against Julian's right cheek, while his hands slid inside the doctor's tunic and slowly peeled it back off his trembling body. 

The moment Julian's arms were released from his sleeves, he reached backwards, drawing Garak closer by his hips. He felt the undeniable erection straining against his buttocks and pushed back against it reflexively.

Garak let out a low groan, holding Julian close to him like that, pressing his groin hard against the human's firm behind. Neither his own fine garment, nor the thin Federation pants, did anything to dull the feel of the sculpted, ridged organ straining against the smoothly curved bottom. 

Julian tried to turn in the tailor's arms, wanting to kiss him and throw his arms around the wide, beautiful neck. But he was firmly held in place, unable to move, and became more and more aroused because of that very fact. 

Listening closely to Julian's soft panting - the only sound in the dark, empty shop - Garak kept one hand on the human's flat stomach while the other undid the black trousers below, sliding behind the waistband and down.

Julian groaned loudly. The pleasure of being removed from this confinement and finding himself held in a warmer, but infinitely better, kind of restraint was overwhelming. 

"If you keep making these sounds, my dear," Garak said, his voice sounding laboured, "this won't last nearly as long as I have in mind." 

Julian gulped. "Tell me what you have in mind, Garak." 

The tailor squeezed his eyes shut for an instant, overcome by his desire.

"Garak..." Julian pleaded, feeling himself twitching in the tight grasp. 

Garak loosened his grip, knowing that, if he didn't, it would be too late. 

Julian's disappointed whimper soon changed to a sigh of relief and need when Garak's hand slid back around his hip, moving to cup his right buttock and squeeze firmly, while Garak whispered, "I have in mind to bend you over this table and kneel behind you... to worship you by bestowing licks and kisses up the length of your legs... to enter you with my tongue and probe you with my fingers..." 

Garak steadied Julian against the edge of the table, when he felt the young man's knees give in. 

"But first..."

"Yes?" Julian gasped. 

"First, I shall hide us from that Bajoran guard outside." 

And with those words, Garak tripped Julian up and pulled him down to the ground with him, stifling the human's giddy laugh by kissing him for a good, long while.

"Come to think of it..." Garak eventually said huskily, smiling into the dark. 

"We might as well stay right here," Julian agreed. 

* * *

Outside the shop, the guard stopped for an instant. Was that someone moaning? He frowned at the name on the door. Who knew _what_ went on in a Cardassian shop... Not that he had time to investigate; he had a late night appointment with Quark. 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All canon characters, settings, events and other details are property of Viacom/Paramount and possibly other copyright holders. Non-canon bits were created for non-profit, non-infringement fan entertainment.
> 
> Archiving: Nowhere except here, and not in translated form either.


End file.
